100 word challenge

100 word challenge

“who wants to get on the light bulb bike first?” “ME!!!!!!” I say really loudly and end up getting chosen. ” And who will be your competitor on the bike?” ” umm, I chose Bella” “ok take your seats on the bike and the task is who ever make their light bulb go the brights in 30 secs so keep pedaling. ok on your marks, get set, GO!!” and they were off. Although they were run quickly they still weren’t making enough progress with the lights, until the last 10 sec. my light was going bright and hers was to but at the end, it was tied.

One thought on “100 word challenge

  1. Emily,
    this is a fun piece that suits the prompt well. I like the way you make use of dialogue to create excitement and show how your characters feel.
    When one person talks after another, it is important to drop down a line for each new speaker-this makes it easier for the reader to hear the different voices talking back and forth. It would look like this:
    “Who wants to get on the light bulb bike first?”
    “ME!!!!!!” I say really loudly and end up getting chosen.
    “And who will be your competitor on the bike?”
    “umm, I chose Bella”
    “ok take your seats on the bike and the task is who ever can make their light bulb go the brightest in 30 secs- so keep pedaling. ok on your marks, get set, GO!!”

    See how it makes it easier to follow.
    Also, be careful to keep to one perspective. Do you want it to be in first-person “I” or third-person “they”? In the last few sentences you swap between. Oh, and don’t forget your capitals at the start of sentences!
    Keep up the great work!
    Ant

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